I am writing this as netizens are currently busy applauding Dhanashree Verma who shared a video of her dance while adorning sindoor and red bangles. She is a famous YouTuber and recently tied the wedding knot with Indian cricketer Yuzvendra Chahal. She is being appreciated as she has choosen to amalagate the traditional values of Hindu culture with modern culture. I have nothing against her and I respect her personal choices. But my question is why our society judge women continuously and why this hullabaloo about her choice of wearing bangles and sindoor?
A woman is prepared for
her marriage since her childhood in our society. But being married is not
enough. A woman is also required to look married essentially in her day to day
life. She is required to put sindoor,
bindi, mangalsutra, bangles, and other accessories that mark her status of
being married. All these are considered the symbols of her marriage and she
needs to put all these in order to ensure her suhaag lives long. From her forehead, nose, ear, neck, fingers,
wrists, ankle and toes she is adorned with jewelry and accessories to
indicate her marital status. All these become the symbols or markers to convey
her marital status to the society. Her body becomes a site of display of her
marital status.
Are there any such
accessories or markers worn by the male counterparts in our society to announce
their marital status that are visible even from a distance? Well as expected
the answer is a big NO. There are wedding rings but men are not necessarily
required to put those in order to show their love and affection to their wives.
They are also not required to wear these so that their life partners can be
blessed with a long and lengthy lifespan.
Why this hypocrisy and
why only women are subjected to the display of their marital status in our
society? Many of my Hindu women friends who are married and they do not put
neither sindoor nor bindi on their foreheads by their own
choice in day to day life. But the point here is that they are living in a
urban metro setting where this can be taken as a case of modernity. However not
all of them are free to follow such kind of practices. One of my friend’s
family (they stayed in NCR region) insisted her to put bindi and sindoor even
though she was visiting the department. She did not like to put bindi while she was in the campus and used
to remove it as soon as she entered the department. She was cautious to put it
back while returning to her home.
My point is that it
should be the choice of the woman just like the men. She should be free to
decide whether she is willing to put all or any of these accessories or not
rather than forced to do so by her husband or family or society in the larger
context. On a personal note, I love to dress up and put bindi on my forehead on certain occasions but it is my personal
choice. And I certainly do not wish to put bindi
on my forehead each and every day.
