Befikre: Men Vs Women

Befikre was reported to be the modern version of 90s super hit family entertainer "Hum Sath Sath Hai". So I thought I would be skipping this movie. But by the end of this week I changed my mind and gave in the craving of watching my favorite actor Ranvir Singh on-screen. 

To begin with I did not like the comparison of female protagonist with Poonam Pandey as reported by media. The movie plot revolves around the messy and complicated love story of two adults. The hero immigrates to Paris from Karol Bagh, Delhi in search of his dreams and happen to meet a half-Indian half-French girl. As expected both fall in love and decide to move-in together without knowing each other completely. Though very soon both realize their mistake and part ways after living together for one year.

Both happen to bump into each other a couple of times after their break-up and ultimately decide to stay as friends. A common mistake most of the couples commit as it is practically impossible to become friends with one's old love flame. Both keep chasing their dreams and passion but halfheartedly. 

Here in the movie, the girl wants the stability and security while the boy prefers a carefree attitude towards life. But life changes when the girl decides to marry the so-called "Right Man". The boy feels rejected, dejected and proposes another girl for marriage despite the warnings of his ex. Again just a day before their wedding both realize their true feelings and emotions for each other and after a series of fights and altercation the protagonists run away together. As usual this Bollywood movie also ends with a happy ending but do we have happy endings in the life?

In crux this movie captures the messy and complicated emotions of youth. I have seen many such love stories of my friends around me.One of my female friend is in a serious love affair with her school time boyfriend since last sixteen years. Still both of them do not wish to tie the marriage knot. In contrast to this my other female friend falls in love every month. On the other side, some of my male friends have been trying to settle down professionally before taking the big step of marrying their respective girls while other are basking in the glory of single-hood for the time being.

Someday, somewhere we all fall in "LOVE" but the message of this movie is simple. Love relationship is like a "Ship" that can not sail without the true feelings of "Partners-in-Crime". So do not be afraid from experiencing this beautiful feeling and keep rising, keep shining and keep flying in love.

Dear Jindgi

In the harsh times of demonetization Bollywood came up with a very happy movie 'Dear Jindgi' which many of my friends have already watched and many are planning to watch. Well the movie plot is very simple yet realistic and we all specially the young generation who have migrated to different cities far away from their comfortable niches; feel connected to the story line as it revolves around an ambitious girl in her twenties trying hard to make her footprints in the big bad world of Bollywood.

I won't be killing the interest of my readers who are yet to watch this movie but the only thing I learnt from this movie is do not shy away from the real you. Express yourself and your emotions the way you want to without bothering about what the others would think. Its okay to laugh loudly and so is the crying when you feel the unbearable pain. Do not wait for others because there is no one in the end. It is your life and sometimes it is good to take up the steering wheel in your own hands rather then waiting for someone else in false hopes.

Shahrukh has brilliantly pulled up the character of a counselor cum a close friend of Alia. What we really need is a couple of caring friends who listen to us patiently, no matter how much we fight with them still they remain close to our hearts. So I would just say be Baccha like...like a kid... enjoy and experience the twists and turns of life before you run out of the time.

The song of Dedh Ishqiya beautifully captures the essence-
'Asi Uljhi Najar unse hat ti nahi,
Daant se rehsmi door kat ti nahi,
Umra Kab ke baras ke sufed ho Gayi
Kali badri Jawani ki chat ti Nahi,
Chehre ki Rangat udne lagi Hai,
Dar lagta Hai tanha sone me Ji,
Dil to Baccha hai Ji'

Daughter's Day in India

As we celebrate Daughters’ day today i.e. 11 August central Women and Child Development minister Maneka Gandhi is in spotlight for launching the campaign “Selfie with Daughters” on social media. She recently shared a picture on twitter with her daughter-in-law and grand-daughter with  #BBBPDaughtersWeek. The emphasis is on the need to treat one’s daughter-in-law as one’s daughter only. She has also invited people to share their pictures with their daughters-in-law and grand-daughters with #BBBPDaughtersweek. Many have argued that ‘in-law’ should be dropped from the word ‘daughter-in-law’.

I wondered how Rajasthan, my home state is going to observe this day as it has a sex ratio of 928 female for every 1000 males much below the national average of 940 female (2011 census), especially when Rajasthan boasts to have in office a woman chief minister Smt. Vasundhara Raje.

My attention was caught by a newspaper article where it praised the district collector Ms. Archana Singh for initiating a unique scheme in Rajsamand district. She directed the Gram panchayats in this particular district to reserve lands as Kanya Upvan/ Girl Parks. The panchayats will ensure that a family will plant eleven saplings in the reserved Kanya Upvan upon the birth of a girl child in order to welcome her. The girl will enjoy the rights over the income earned from selling the fruits and flowers of these plants. Already nine gram panchayats have adopted this scheme namely Binol, Banodiya, Bhanuja, Lal Madri, Taal, Tasol, Bhana, Mohi, Kuraj. The aim is to cover all the villages in Rajsamand district under this scheme.

This initiative serves as the perfect example of ecofeminism that emerged in mid 1970s alongside second wave feminism and the green revolution. Ecofeminist movement tries to connect the exploitation and degradation of nature with the subordination and oppression of women as a result of patriarchal system (‘Feminism and Ecology’ by Mary Mellor, New York University Press, 1997). So the Kanya Upvan scheme of Rajsamand district perfectly blends in the concerns of the nature and women. No doubt it is worth emulating in other states too where sex ratio is worrisome (top five states are Haryana,879; Jammu and Kashmir,889; Punjab,895; Uttar Pradesh,912; and Bihar, 918, census 2011). At the same time Rajasthan administration has to ensure that implementation of this scheme goes beyond just papers as it's a cumbersome process to ensure the maintenance and growth of plants for years to come.

Head cover across the Religions

Now-a-days our attention is attracted towards movement initiated by Iranian women against compulsory head covering. But whenever we talk about the prevalence of head cover why only Islamic women capture all the limelight. What about the conditions of women across the religions?

I belong to a North Indian state where I see Hindu women covering their heads with cotton cloth known as Odhni or Chunri. Often young women cover their heads infront of elder men in order to show their respect or may be because of their shy nature. But not only the young but septagenarians and octogenarian women cover their head. They do not need to show their respect for anyone.
At the young age I could not grasp the functional importance of this head cover. But now my anthropological training helps me to understand its suitability considering the local arid climatic conditions. Women working in the fields wipe off their sweat with this cotton odhni. These women also carry large heaps of grass, often tied with help of odhni on top of their heads, from fields to their houses to serve as the fodder for the cattle.
One of my friend's mother, a Rajput, is in Rajasthan administrative services (RAS) and currently posted in Alwar. She balances this act of head covering perfectly. She covers her head whenever she wears the traditional Rajputi Poshak and visits their village. But when she goes to office, she does not cover her head. This way she respects the traditional cultural values and simultaneously portrays the image of modern woman at her office.

Further if I look at Sikh women, they also cover their head with turban after they have tasted amrit known as amrit chakhna. Now comes the Christian women, very recently I observed while travelling in metro that the sisters sitting in front of me had covered their heads with scarfs.

So not just Muslim but Hindu, Sikh and Christian women are found to cover their heads. The reason cited by many is that long hair of women tend to attract or tempt men. So the head need to be covered or shaved off in case of Hindu Sadhvis or Buddhist nuns who gave up their hair after renunciation.

Again I probed further and analyzed the clothing pattern of men across the religions. To my amazement I found that men also cover their heads. In my home state Rajasthan,  Hindu men cover their heads with beautiful and colorful turbans known as Pagadi or Safa. This is considered as a symbol of their prestige. Islamic men wear the headgear known as taqiyah. Then Sikh men also wear turban just like their women counterpart. The traditional headgear of Christians is known as Mitre.

So not only the women but men cover their heads in accordance to their religious and cultural values. Rather than rejecting the practice of head cover as a fundamentalist aspect of religion we need to have a deeper and nuanced understanding of it.

From Being Single To Being Engaged On Facebook.......

She is a normal, girl-next door type girl who is still a student technically as she is pursuing her doctoral research in one of the central university (though she is recipient of national scholarship and earns more than her friends working in corporate sector). Everything else is normal except the fact that she is going to be 27 yrs old in barely one month’s time. This makes her family, relatives, friends and neighbors very concerned and anxious. She always refuses to have been involved romantically with any boy in her life whenever enquired by her family and friends. She also does not agree to meet the ‘right’ boys whose proposals are endorsed by the most ‘trusted’ relatives and neighbors. So what is wrong with her???
She believes she is committed to her research work and it would not be possible for her to manage the dual responsibilities. She lives alone in this big bad city and knows how much exactly one need to invest in home making. Whenever faced by questions related to marriage or so called ‘settling down’ in life, she just ignores that.
When more than half of her friends on Face book are announcing either their entry into next phase of life- “being married” or the entry of a new family member- sweet, adorable kids; she wonders what is wrong with her???
One fine day, she decides to change her status from being ‘single’ to ‘engaged’ on Face book. She is convinced that she is committed and engaged to her research work and need not be engaged with some person to change her status on Facebook. So she puts the date of registration into Ph.D. as her engagement date. Interestingly this date was almost one and half year ago.
This simple change flooded her notifications on Facebook account with as many hundred likes and thirty-five comments. Her face book friends are really happy to know that she is engaged. In most of the cases they failed to notice that date was of last year and a person’s name is also missing. Though some are disappointed that she did not invite them in the engagement and some others (women) over the fact that she would be hitched before them and now they have to listen to their parents’ comparison tales.
Our smart Facebook also does not stay away and it starts suggesting her web pages offering discounts to plan a perfect and hassle free wedding and then offering honeymoon packages at exotic locations for the best prices possible. So in the end all becomes happy.
This story becomes important as now-a-days social media is going gaga over Sania Mirza’s fitting reply to Mr. Sardesai’s question of her settling down in the life. People have posted and reposted the incident many times in order to express their solidarity to Mirza. But does it also indicate any change in our perception in real life. An ordinary average girl who is not as famous as Mirza, still haunted by the same questions in her life again and again by her family, friends, relatives and even strangers. Her stability and success in life is measured on the scale of being married and then producing babies. Why this hypocrisy? On one hand we are uniting in support to Mirza and on the other hand we look suspiciously at the twenty-five plus, single, working women as defaulters of societal norms by not getting married or choosing their career over their marriage. So think over before you start asking the same questions to some pretty and amazingly single woman.