Understanding the Concept of Father

Generally the notion of “biological” father is associated with understanding the concept of father in a layman’s term. But Kinship studies in Social Anthropology makes a distinction between the biological father (Genitor) and sociological father (Pater). I found this distinction interesting as Todas (a tribe of Nilgiri Hills which practices polyandry) has the prevalence of ceremonial rituals to determine the sociological father of unborn child. The biological father of the child may be different from the socially accepted father of the child. In our own society we have the concept of adoption wherein the society acknowledges and provides the same status to the adopted child even if he/she is not biologically related to the adopting parents. So we see that there might by distinction between genitor and pater.

Recently I was listening to a Ted talk episode on YouTube by Otto Kelly. He pointed out that most of the sociological problems which are prevalent in the present society like drug abuse, delinquency, alcoholism, child abuse, rape and violence, teenage pregnancy etc. can be attributed to the absence of strong father figure in an individual’s early life. His main observation was that the childhood wounds of absence of fathers either physically or emotionally or both may have long term impacts on the overall development of the individual. He called upon the men to take up the charge and fulfill their responsibility of committed father to their daughters and sons.

But I was wondering what happens in case of children coming from separated/ divorced/ widow parents? Renuka Sahane in an episode of Behensplaining on the release of her recent movie Tribhanga (available on Netflix) spoke how she had to face discrimination growing up as she was coming from a separated family. Other children refrained from playing with her and she was looked down as if touching her would lead to break in their own families. This is important to note as our society treats these children (coming from divorced/ single parents) differently and a stigma (using Goffman's term) is attached to these children.   

Bollywood has celebrated the notion of ideal families (movies like Hum Sath Sath Hain) but Tribhanga tries to explore the so called “flawed” families wherein it depicts the lives of three generation of women in search of their aspirations and dreams. The issue of absence of father in one's life is highlighted through the character of Anuradha (played by Kajol). She always blames her mother Nayantara for the absence of her father. Later on Nayan’s second husband starts physically abusing her daughter (Kajol) and the movie shows its ramifications for Kajol as well as the entire family. Kajol’s daughter Masha (played by Mithila) does not want to repeat the “mistakes” of her mother as well grandmother and settles in a traditional family wherein she even goes for sex detection of her unborn child in order to ensure that the baby is not a girl.

I have used the example of of Bollywood movie here but real life situation is not very different. Young children especially the girls face lots of challenges in the absence of father in our society. This is not to undermine the role of mothers in child rearing and upbringing. But to also acknowledge the role of father in a child’s life.